When 'Cool' Isn't Cool Anymore

Last week, I had a text exchange with a friend about inclusivity and the concept of “cool”. Austin is a bastion of support and encouragement for creative entrepreneurs—I tell people often that I don’t think I could do what I do now if I weren’t in Austin—but it’s not always that way.

Cliques and “queen bees” exist post-high school; they just go by a different name.

From the ‘cool girl’ trope on film to real-world “cool people” on social media, the pursuit of “cool” influences people’s decision making in all facets of life, namely socially and economically. Entire industries are built on the idea of “cool”: influencers and pop culture in general rely on the cool factor to sell stuff, a dynamic that doesn’t look to be chaining any time soon.

“Cool” has a major dark side, and no one is talking about it.

Growing up a big kid was hard, and mostly because of how I was perceived and treated by others. Back in the ‘90s, there was no internet community to connect with; the phase “body positivity” wasn’t part of the cultural zeitgeist yet. It was unacceptable to be fat, and as all fat kids learn, you have to find ways to deflect attention from your body if you want to fit in.

Enter: the pursuit of “cool”.

I remember desperately wanting to fit in with the “cool kids” growing up, a phrase I detest because it takes me back to that time. I can’t help but compare the feeling I had then to what I feel now when I see people being purposefully excluded from certain groups and conversations, especially from ones whose stated purpose is to uplift others, namely other women. It’s insidious, and it’s destructive.

I’ve never been “cool”, and once I resigned myself to this reality and just started doing and saying what I felt was right or authentic to me, like sharing silly impressions on the internet, I felt lighter. My values—vulnerability, authenticity, and fun—aren’t just buzzwords. I share my experiences with feeling “uncool” because they’re as much a part of my story as any successes I’ve had.

“Cool” is a fruitless pursuit, and not just because it’s a moving target. “Cool” prevents you from becoming who you really are; it makes people fickle and shallow and focused on things that ultimately don’t matter.

I’ll never be a cool girl, and I’m honestly great with that. “Cool” is okay, but “real” is better.

And I choose “real”.

(The image for this post is one of my Liz Feezor Creative branding images: you might recognize it from my Services page. It and all the other branding you see on this website were created by Corey Carbo, who is one of the most authentic people I know: check out her work and snag a piece from her shop!)