How to 'Yes, And' the Hard Stuff

I come up with blog ideas usually when I’m in the middle of something else: another writing project; halfway through a good shower. (The creative mind works in unpredictable-bordering-on-inconvenient ways.) Although I can’t remember the circumstances around this one, I can say that I wrote the title for this blog post months ago… and then life as we knew it ground to a halt.

In many ways, self-employment has trained me for a quarantine.

For the uninitiated,' ‘yes, and’ is the cardinal rule of improv that requires players to not only agree with what their partner presents them with, but to add to it and keep the idea going. By saying ‘yes, and’, we embrace what’s unfolding, adopt a positive attitude, and acknowledge that there are no mistakes, only opportunities.

(Kinda like doing business during a pandemic.)

First, there’s the financial uncertainty.

For the last two years, my income has been erratic: my definition of a ‘good month’ has evolved over time, and I’ve learned to ride the wave that is freelancing. Candidly, I’ve never worked harder to earn less, but even now, in the middle of a global financial downturn and a whole host of unknowns, I’ve never felt more sure about what I’m doing.

I’m owning my personal brand, taking things one day to the next, and learning to trust my intuition. It’s a process. and it ain’t easy.

Next, there’s the ongoing work of creating opportunities.

I get the “so how did you get (something published/a speaking engagement/a particular client)?” question frequently. My answer? I asked. I applied. I worked for it. No one’s handing me anything at this stage in my career, and I don’t expect anyone to. I call myself a ‘perennial underdog’ as a reminder to always be willing put in the work. There’s no shortcut to success, especially as a self-employed creative.

As kids, and even as adults, we’re led to believe that there are huge barriers to entry in creative fields. Someone must need to tap you on the shoulder and give you permission to start, right? FALSE. Self-efficacy and sharing your work is how big ideas start—and grow into career-defining things.

Finally, there’s learning to become your own leader.

As a solo business, I can’t ‘yes, and’ everything that comes my way. I’ve had to learn to say no and guard my time. I sometimes feel a twinge of guilt with every ‘no’ I deliver because the people-pleasing Enneagram Type 2 in me wants to say yes and help everyone. But I’m one person, and I’m relying on myself to earn money by creating value for others. My success depends on my ability to preserve my energy and be strategic about when to say ‘yes’.

Leading myself (and becoming my own mentor) also looks like saying ‘yes, and’ to the truth about who I am and how I prefer to work.

A traditional corporate career track just isn’t the best work environment for me. I tried it for 15 years, and as much as I love socializing, bonding with coworkers, and being an indispensable part of a team, corporate life drained me of my mental and emotional energy to the point of a breakdown. As an empath, I found myself constantly getting sucked in to others’ issues and always wanting to help, and I’d have nothing left at the end of the day.

Corporate life isn’t made for highly empathic creatives, I’ll tell you that.

Offices breed all sorts of weird energy and competition between teammates, even in work structures where collaboration is encouraged. I’m a naturally silly person, and silliness is something that gets shamed out of us at a young age: I remember moments in fifth and sixth grade that taught me that it wasn’t “cool” to be silly and goof around anymore, and the last two years of self-employment has felt like a homecoming to that natural state for me.

Now, my work is about championing others with my words. It’s the closest I’ve found to my ikigai, my reason for being, and I get to do it my way, even through hard times.

So how do we make it through a global pandemic and financial crisis?

Do the work.
Trust your instincts.
‘Yes, and’ the hard stuff.
And buckle up for a wild ride.

(If you’re interested in improv and want to ‘yes, and’ some fun into your life right now, my friend and fellow solopreneur Melissa Love is hosting a virtual improv group session on Tuesday night, March 24th for FREE. Register here and prepare to laugh, learn, and bond with your fellow humans: it’s just what we all need right now.)